Fear...

This blog post nearly didn't make it past the « publish » button. Because I was afraid, afraid that you might not want to read the story and advice given by an inexperienced fourteen year old, afraid that talking about my little first world problems and fears would offend people that are going through « real » and « more important » tough times.

The writing of this post is one of the many times where fear creeps into my life and keeps me from doing what I want. Like the time I know a violin piece on the tips of my finger but get paralized in front of the judges/an audience and become incapable of playing. Like the times I miss an opportunity to talk to somebody because I'm afraid of what they might think about me. Or like the time I completely freak out in a crowded shop for nor reason at all and suddently want to cry.

Here's a fun fact : I'm not afraid of heights, or speed and I would gladly bungee/parachute jump. What I fear the most is little tings in my day to day life, things that most people wouldn't think of as being scary.

A week back, I went on holiday (see post here) to visit a friend I had only talked to online, never had met. I had to take the train, twice, sleep in her family house, with people I didn't know at all, give up my stupid little granny habbits, my tea before bead, my 45min makeup session every mornings, all of my little Tics and OCD moments... And that terrorised me even though I tried so hard to convinced myself that I could be like any other teens and socialise « normally ». I finally went, and you know what ? It turned out to be an absolutely great week ! The train journey was a piece of cake, everybody in the house was really nice, and I had so much fun I forgot about all of my crippling little habits.

You may think I'm not the most « qualified » to talk about fear, as I don't suffer from an extreme anxiety that keeps me stuck at home. But I do believe that everybody's resticting their possibilities to live the best life possible to a certain extent, and that's all because they're scared.

I decided I would try to work on overcoming my fears, whether it's by doing as many auditions as I can to get better in front of a public, trying to say yes (as Zoella said, just say « Yes ») everytime I get an opportunity to do something, as daunting as it is, daring to ask questions whithout being worried of looking stupid, dressing as I want, going out bare faced, letting myself be unorganised for one day... I'm not talking about getting rid of fear, but about overcoming it, as it is my definition of true courage. I know it'll not be done in a day, that the journey to bravoury is a life-long one, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

Hopefully, it will make my life a lot more enjoyable, less stressfull, and a lot more interesting.

That's the end of my little ramble about fear, now let me ask you, what are you afraid of? Please tell me in the comment below.

Thank you for reading,

Maddy